Tur-duc-hen

Last year we started a new tradition on Christmas Eve...the Tur-duc-hen. It was a fun and festive addition to our yearly get together that brought us a lot of laughs and it tasted good. As we near another Christmas Eve and we go through the yearly traditions I am reminded about what is important in life. God,Family and good friends. I wear alot of hats throughout the year mother, sister, daughter,nana and friend I dont wear any of them as well as I would like to. I am not the best mother I wish I had bought my son those red polyester pants he wanted so bad when he was 5 he even cried over the darn things but I said "no you will look foolish" I wish I had bought them then I could have the memory of the smile that they gave him instead of the tears of disappointment. I wish I had told my daughter more often that she was beautiful so she would always see herself as the beautiful woman I see instead of having insecurities. I wish I had spent more time teaching my sister the importance of being true to yourself and that I had not said such mean things to my mother when I was an angry teenager. I wish I made more time for my friends and told them more how much they mean to me. Somethings that have happened this year have made me look at myself and see so much disappointment in me. So many shortfalls so many negative qualities. When I feel this way I should turn to God who loves me but I don't I turn to the whiskey that medicates me then I have something else to beat the heck out of myself with. But this year as I was making cookies with my granddaughter we had the music playing in the background and she was doing her best to make sure we had the best looking cookies ever God spoke to me. He told me it is okay to be me. It is okay to not be as perfect as I think I should be. It is okay to fall as long as I get up and carry on. I am okay. Every year my family gathers around me and we have Christmas eve together we celebrate the birth of Jesus and we celebrate each other. With all of our flaws and inadequacies. And we love each other. And that is what is important. Traditions are important. Passing it down and on and making memories. Like the first Christmas Eve Tur-Duc-Hen a new tradition and hours of laughs that we will not forget.

Merry Christmas