This Christmas

This year was probably the brokest I can remember in my adult life. It turned out to be the richest christmas ever!! It all started on the 23rd we met at my brother Eds house. He and his new wife put on a really nice dinner with shishkabobs and potato salad. It was also a celebration of my nephew Jeremy's 19th birthday. The whole family was there! Everyone who lives in Florida was there. And there was not even one argument! Everyone got along and we all had a great time! The only snafu came in the form of my daughter in law and although her behavior kind of embarrassed me and my son no one else seemed to mind so no harm no foul. What she did was go to McDonalds and come back with a big mac meal after my sister in law had taken all day to prepare such a great feast. I would have been offended. But everyone else just took it in stride! Now we have a new memory to bring us smiles and joy!

On the 24th we had Christmas eve celebration at my house. We do a gift exchange where we pick a number then a gift but if someone else wants your gift they are eligible to "Steal" it and give you thiers. This always is alot of fun! We played the Nativity Story and ate alot of good food. I even made just one batch of my Santas Private Stock Kaluha every one was so happy because I have not made this recipe in years. Again my whole family gathered together with no arguments. I did not buy gifts for anyone but my grandchildren and all they got was a movie. Cody got Kung Fu Panda and Dalton got Horton Hears A Who. Although the giving was not what I am ususally able to do NOONE even cared. We really just enjoyed being together. It was GREAT. I have been praying for this for so long I feel it was my heavenly Fathers bonus gift to me.
On Christmas day we had a turkey not every one came but the ones who did had a good meal. This was the best christmas ever!

Oh yeah and I got a new coffee pot!!

Tur-duc-hen

Last year we started a new tradition on Christmas Eve...the Tur-duc-hen. It was a fun and festive addition to our yearly get together that brought us a lot of laughs and it tasted good. As we near another Christmas Eve and we go through the yearly traditions I am reminded about what is important in life. God,Family and good friends. I wear alot of hats throughout the year mother, sister, daughter,nana and friend I dont wear any of them as well as I would like to. I am not the best mother I wish I had bought my son those red polyester pants he wanted so bad when he was 5 he even cried over the darn things but I said "no you will look foolish" I wish I had bought them then I could have the memory of the smile that they gave him instead of the tears of disappointment. I wish I had told my daughter more often that she was beautiful so she would always see herself as the beautiful woman I see instead of having insecurities. I wish I had spent more time teaching my sister the importance of being true to yourself and that I had not said such mean things to my mother when I was an angry teenager. I wish I made more time for my friends and told them more how much they mean to me. Somethings that have happened this year have made me look at myself and see so much disappointment in me. So many shortfalls so many negative qualities. When I feel this way I should turn to God who loves me but I don't I turn to the whiskey that medicates me then I have something else to beat the heck out of myself with. But this year as I was making cookies with my granddaughter we had the music playing in the background and she was doing her best to make sure we had the best looking cookies ever God spoke to me. He told me it is okay to be me. It is okay to not be as perfect as I think I should be. It is okay to fall as long as I get up and carry on. I am okay. Every year my family gathers around me and we have Christmas eve together we celebrate the birth of Jesus and we celebrate each other. With all of our flaws and inadequacies. And we love each other. And that is what is important. Traditions are important. Passing it down and on and making memories. Like the first Christmas Eve Tur-Duc-Hen a new tradition and hours of laughs that we will not forget.

Merry Christmas

HEY STU

Mr. Stewart Pidasso called again today. He hates to be called Stewart he wants to be called Stu. If you know a Stu Pidasso please tell him to stay away from me!

Thanks for your help with this situation

Kindness Matters

So much has happened since my last post. So much I wanted to share. But there has been one horrible tragedy that is the only thing on my mind. My sisters ex boyfriend Greg took his own life in the early morning hours of Saturday 11/29. He was pronounced dead at 4:30 a.m. The circumstances that surrounded his death are indeed tragic. Greg and my sister lived together for over 9 years. Greg had always been a drinker but in the past couple of years his drinking has grown to be more of a problem. To make a long story short in July/ Aug. this year my sister broke it off with him but allowed him to stay in the house until he could afford to move. He slept on the couch and refused to let the relationship go. In hindsite she should have probably just thrown him out. But she did not want to be percieved as the "bad guy".

I love my sister very much and I did not like the way Greg treated her and I let him know it.

I am a christian. I am suppose to show the love of God to all people. I have prayed to be a better person and to not let my words hurt anyone. My last words to Greg not even 30 minutes before his death were " you are a piece of shit and you don't deserve my sister" Yes there were alot of words exchanged and Greg said some horrible things... But I am the christian. I know better. Sure I performed CPR and tried to be helpful.. when it was too late apparently.

I wish I had put my arms around him and asked him why he was so angry. Asked him what I could do to help ease his pain. I wish I had said something that could have comforted his tortured soul. I wish I had just stood still and prayed to God for peace to take over. I wish I had followed him into the garage and asked to pray with him or asked if he just wanted to talk. I wish I could just live that night over and changed the outcome. I wish I could remember what he looked like when he was alive instead of seeing his face as I undid the noose to try to give him CPR. I wish I had told him that I did care about him I just did not like the way he treated my sister. I wish I could remove my sisters pain as well as her sons pain. I wish I had not called my brother that night so he would not have the memories he has. Most of all I wish I could change the last words I ever said to him. I wish my last words to him were " Greg this is all going to be okay. Jesus loves you and he will give you peace. How can I help you?"

My prayer today is that people will change the way we treat each other. That never again will my last words to someone be mean. That words that come out of my mouth will always be uplifting. I pray that God will forgive me for letting my tongue cause any pain. I know that what he did was his choice. I know he did it to himself. I also know that sometimes just a kind word or a smile can change tone of a persons day.

KINDNESS MATTERS!!!!!!

I know that God was in that garage with Greg when he died. I know he was grieving over the pain his child was feeling and I know Satan was there cheering him on feeding into his depression.

I know we all have choices to make. I pray that I remember to choose KINDNESS in all situations.

Primfixins: Politics!!

Check out this link!!!

Primfixins: Politics!!

Back to Basics

I havent't posted for a while. I have been busy looking for a job ect..... Sometimes life just seems to take over. Before you know it you have no time to read the Bible, pray or post blogs. So now I am re-examining my priorities. God is my number one priority I live to love him and to please him first and foremost. Then I have to take care of myself. I have to make time to exercise I have to make sure I am eating right. If I don't take care of me how can I take care of anyone else? I have been fighting a big battle about what I need to grow as a Christ follower. I am going to let God lead me. And he will.Sometimes our own thoughts take over and we think we know what is best for us but if we are not listening to God and daily in the Word how can we know what he wants.
We are living in some tough times how people think they can get through this without him is beyond me.
Thank you God for my friends and family and for the friends I have not yet met..

Whats Your Hurry??

This was shared with me today and I wanted to pass it on.....

What’s Your Hurry?
by Dr. Paul Chappell


“Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.”

Romans 5:1–5


Your emergency situation is often God’s testing time.

The purposes of God often develop slowly because His grand designs are never hurried. The great New England preacher Phillips Brooks was noted for his poise and quiet manner. At times, however, even he suffered from moments of frustration and irritability. One day a friend saw him feverishly pacing the floor like a caged lion. “What's the trouble, Mr. Brooks?” he asked.
“The trouble is that I'm in a hurry, but God isn't!” Haven't we felt the same way many times?

Some of the greatest missionaries of history devotedly spread the seed of God's Word, and yet had to wait long periods before seeing the fruit of their efforts. William Carey, for example, labored seven years before the first Hindu convert was brought to Christ in Burma, and Adoniram Judson toiled seven years before his faithful preaching was rewarded. In western Africa, it was fourteen years before one convert was received into the Christian church. In New Zealand, it took nine years; and in Tahiti, it was sixteen years before the first harvest of souls began.

Thomas a Kempis described that kind of patience in these words: “He deserves not the name of patient who is only willing to suffer as much as he thinks proper, and for whom he pleases. The truly patient man asks (nothing) from whom he suffers, (whether) his superior, his equal, or his inferior...But from whomever, or how much, or how often wrong is done to him, he accepts it all as from the hand of God, and counts it gain!”

How many times have you hurriedly sought God in prayer, earnestly begging for an immediate answer but found none? Did you give up? Did you suppose God wouldn’t hear? Many times Christians can seek God’s help in an emergency situation, then become discouraged when He doesn’t answer them exactly when they want it.

God doesn’t operate on our timetable. As Isaiah 55:8 says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.” God has His own plan for our lives!

Did you ever realize that an emergency to us is simply part of the plan to God? When something happens suddenly in our lives, we can be sure that God knew it would be there all along! He has His hand on it and He will take care of it in His time!

What emergency situation do you have in your life? Does God seem to be testing your patience? Remember when the waiting times come, God has everything right where He wants it. You can rest assured of His hand over it all! Rather than becoming impatient or discouraged, ask God to grow you through this waiting period. Allow His Spirit to give you patience during this time.

Confused and Concerned

I so need to pray to God for direction. I must listen to God and not to man.

What a week

This week brought many adventures and little time to blog. I went on a scavenger hunt on Friday with my friend Mellisa and her family. It was put on by her church The Place. What a great time. It helped to remind me to have fun. Just because we are Christians we do not have to always be somber God has given us this gift of life and we need to live it!

He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.
Job 8:21

While we were scaveging we met alot of great people and had the opportunity to share the love of God. Mellisa is a warrior and she prayed for a young girl who really helped us out. Her husband even gave us his sock off his FOOT!!

I really enjoyed myself even when we were singing Head, shoulders, knees and toes in the middle of Brick House Pizza. Which by the way makes the best pizza in North Port!.

Thanks for the invite Missy I had a blast!

Another weigh-in

Okay I got weighed today. Only 1 pound. Better than nothin. Today was a busy day. I scrubbed the tile floors on my hands and knees. Oh what fun!! Good exercise though. Hopefully walking tomorrow.

Peace

Well let me start by saying that yesterday I called Prometric, which is the company that grades the CNA classes, to get my scores and found out that they can only let you know through snail mail! In a society of instant messaging, e-mail and fax machines this companies policy is snail mail so I have no news about that.
On another subject......
Everyone I know is going through some kind of turmoil. Maybe it is the kids or the finances always something.
I recieved this little exerpt today from the Joel Olsteen website and I thought it was powerful and it has a message of hope. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did.

Peace, Be Still

Today's Scripture

“Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace, be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm” (Mark 4:39 NKJ).

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria

What do you do when the storms of life seem to be raging against you? One time Jesus was with His disciples in a boat out on the water when they encountered a great storm. The disciples were very afraid, but Jesus on the other hand, was fast asleep. When the disciples woke Him up to see if He could help them, Jesus got up and simply spoke to the storm, “Peace! Be still.” And the seas were calm again.
When difficult times come, you don’t have to be overwhelmed by the waves of worry or fear. Just as Jesus stood up and spoke to the storm, you have power in your words, too. As a believer, the Bible tells us that the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead dwells in you. That means God’s miracle-working power is on the inside of you. He’s given you His authority to declare peace over your home, over your mind, and over your family. Remember, no matter what storms may come against you, the Greater One lives on the inside of you, and He’ll empower you to live in victory in every area of your life!

I just thought this was great!

God and Spaghetti

Today we had a free spaghetti dinner at the church. It was part of our outreach program and it was happening at the same time as the free bread ministry so there was lots there for people in the community today. It seems that the more we give to the community the more we recieve. Today was a very special day. A woman came in and she was visibly stressed and seemed very preocupied. She had 2 small children with her. I had seen her several times before and she was outgoing and freindly today she was obviously troubled. I started a conversation with her asking her how she was. I found out that she was having trouble with her oldest son he was 13, disrespectful and her heart was breaking. After talking to her for a while it was clear that she needed prayer. So one of the intercessors prayed with her and talked with her for a while she left looking less troubled and more hopeful. That is one of the gifts we get from God, hope. The hope for healing and better things to come. Some times all a person needs is to feel that somebody cares. A smile can even have an effect on what kind of a day a person is going to have. We see people all the time and we have no idea what they are going through what kind of burdens they bare. We as Christians need to make sure we are doing all we can for the kingdom of God. And kindess matters. Kindness ALWAYS matters. Many people show up every week for the free bread that we are blessed to recieve and share. And every week I am blessed by them. I have met some wonderful people and I am so blessed to be allowed to serve God and his children this way. In todays society when financial problems are so prevelant we have to find ways to help each other. Every week we get donations of clothing from the very people we serve with free bread and clothing. They recieve and they give. They share their lives with us the trouble and the blessings. They allow us to pray with them. To cry with them and to laugh with them. I sometimes imagine that this is kind of what heaven will be like. We will all worship and share together. Age, race, height, weight, eye color none of it will matter. We will not be separated by anything we will just be His children interested in nothing more than worshipping the Father. There is the hope. The hope of peace, love and understanding. Pastor said that our lives are like a camping trip and we are roughing it but we know that when the trip is over we will be going home. Home to comfort. But as with camping there will be some fun and there will be some days when your tent gets rained out and you are uncomfortable but know that this is just a visit someday we will be going home. I live to serve the Father in any capacity that he decides he wants me. I know I am not perfect but I know he is working in me. I pray to be a kind person I pray that I cause no harm to anyone. That He will give me a heart of love so unbelievers will see His love in me and will want His love in them. Like the song says " Shine let them wonder what you got let them wish that they were not on the outside looking in" I know that someday I will go see him face to face what a glorious thing to look forward to. But in the meantime I will enjoy this adventure he has me on. And I will tell anyone that will listen about my wonderful Father who loves them and wants them to come home to comfort when the time comes for their camping trip to end. In the meantime I intend to just be one of the happy campers.

Today...

Today I took the Florida State CNA test again. I was a CNA for a long time and let my certification go when I went to PGT. So I am going to try to do it again. At least I will have work. I will get the results on Monday.

Weigh in again

This weigh in went much better! I lost 8.4 pounds!! I am sooo excited! Going for a walk now. Will blog more later.

Joshua Creek

It was a clear, sunny afternoon the first time I happened to come across Joshua Creek cemetery. I was driving down County Rd 760 in Arcadia which in itself is a beautiful drive. I was taken in by the beautiful drive itself. 760 is a narrow winding road. In some areas the trees have grown across the road making a natural tunnel where just small streams of sunlight filter through. It is a very rural area where stately looking farmhouses decorate the scenery. As I was driving along enjoying the sights I came to a curve in the road and to my left I saw the cemetery. I slowed down as I drove by and was taken aback by the beauty of it. After I passed the cemetery I was still in awe and I felt drawn to it in a strange way. I turned my car around and went back. I just had to get a closer look.
The first thing I noticed about this cemetery was there was no big fence surrounding it or a big gate to enter. There was one very narrow paved road going through it. The roadway was only wide enough for one vehicle to enter. There were about three other roadways or paths that you could drive on but they were not paved and there was nothing but obvious tire marks that would even lead you to believe it was a safe place to drive. I pulled over and parked my car at the entrance area of the cemetery. I had decided that this was probably a trip I would want to make on foot. I did not want to miss a thing I wanted to take in all the beauty and history that surrounded me. I did take note that I was the only person visiting the cemetery at the time.
I took a long look around and noticed that every grave was marked in one way or another. The most popular way to decorate it seemed was with plastic flowers of all colors. Then there were the small garden statues. Everything from turtles to angels decorated the graves. The first grave that I walked up to was just a mound of dirt raised up in the ground. It was being protected by a statue of three white dogs. One of the dogs appeared to be the mother of the pack. She was holding an old tin lantern in her mouth as if to light the way for her fallen owner who was now buried deep beneath the earth. Her two little pups seemed to look on as if wondering who their mother was waiting for. There was a small broken cement name plate in the ground with the name D. Holmes. It seemed that D had passed away in the 1940’s. Along with the dogs was a plastic flower pot filled with purple plastic flowers that were placed in dirt of course. As if someone was thinking that if you put the dead flowers in dirt they may come to life. Beside the pot were 2 American flags, the kind that they glue to a stick so you can wave them at the parade on the fourth of July. A few feet away from D’s grave a child was buried. The stone is so old that even after 2 rubbings all I can come up with is that the child passed in the early 1900’s at about 2 years old. There are 4 small scarecrows attached to sticks adorning the grave as if to scare away anything that may seek to harm the child. I think the child might have also enjoyed the ocean as there is an old white, weather worn conch shell on top of the grave. Perhaps someone placed it there so the sound of the ocean through the shell may lull the child to sleep. To the left of this child is a little girl named Claudette. Claudette was born 9/13/1917 and passed on 1/7/1919 there are dainty blue plastic flowers adorning her little grave. A few feet down the path is the grave of Alice Mabel who passed in 1939. She is buried beside her husband and her 2 children. The graves are protected by a wrought iron fence which is now rusted and falling apart. The gate is held on by one hinge and creaks when it is opened. These graves are not adorned with the popular plastic flowers but instead by houseplants and shaped concrete molds. Not far from where Alice is resting is the grave site of John Henry who was a Private in the Florida Mounted Volunteer army during the Indian wars. John Henry passed away in 1822. His grave is also adorned with the little flags on a stick and a couple of ceramic angels. Not far from him is Rick G Sr. or Uncle Rick as his loving family called him. There is a life size image of him adorning his 6 foot tall headstone made of granite. Uncle Rick passed on in 2002. The likeness of him so closely resembles that of Desi Arnez that I would not have been surprised if he had just looked at me and said “honey I’m home.” There are far too many for me to mention in one small essay. But I felt like I knew the people just by looking at the grave sites. They are so well cared for and surrounded by personal items just for them. These people were loved and will not be forgotten.
The cemetery has many old oak trees growing in it. All of them are full of Spanish moss and they provide a nice cover for the area. The area outside of the cemetery may be hot and humid but when you enter the cemetery the shade provided by the trees makes the temperature drop noticeably. They also give an atmosphere of peace and serenity. These big old trees are so much a part of the cemetery that I wonder if their big roots don’t reach out and surround the tenants of the cemetery in an eternal hug.
I did some research and found out that this cemetery dates back to the civil war era. There are rumors that there are also some Indians buried here although no on has officially confirmed or denied this allegation. I have been to many odd cemeteries. As a child I lived in New England and I spent many days at my grandparent house. Behind their house was an old cemetery which had an old dilapidated mausoleum in it. We children would take turns seeing who could spend the most time in there. In Exeter R.I. I visited an old cemetery that was famous for having witches buried there. I visit the graves of witches and suspected vampires in Boston. But I have to say of all the cemeteries I have visited in my search for truth about ghost, vampires and life after death I have never been to a place where you could feel the history behind the graves like you can at Joshua Creek. If you ever get the chance to visit there first take in the sights and the history that surrounds you then stand very still and close your eyes. I am sure that you will hear the giggles of children long since gone and smell the horses that the soldiers of the past rode through there. Perhaps you will feel the long soft hair of an Indian on your cheek as he speeds pass you in search of his next meal.

Everything is an adventure...

Sometimes I feel as though I am living the life of Indiana Jones here in little North Port, Florida. Every day is full of adventure. I went for a walk with my sister the other night. We decided to take the walkway on Sumter Blvd. It is a really pretty walk complete with wooden bridges and gazebos. We walked and talked and really just had a great time right up to the end of our walk. We were coming upon the wettest part of the walk. It seems that if there is rain it comes right up to the sidewalk. We were stopped by a couple that I used to work with and got into a nice conversation just catching up. As we were preparing to leave we noticed a good size crawfish on the sidewalk. Being the big thinker that I am I thought it would be fun to bring it home and terrorize the mother and nana with it. So I picked it up like you would a lobster, right behind the claws. Thinking that there is noway that this little thing could be any kind of a threat to me. I eat things bigger than him. When we got to the car I poured out what was left of my afternoons Dunkin Donuts coffee and put him in the cup. Proud of my catch like a cat with a mouse I headed home. Upon entering the house I took hold of the little lobster wanna be and shook it in my moms face taking much delight in her screams of surprise and fear. What a meanie I am!! Hahaha. Then I headed down the hall to the Nanas room where she was sitting in her house robe preparing to go to bed. " look what I found Nana" I exclaimed as I held it up and inch from her nose . "What is it" she mused. Wanting her to get a good look I held my hand out stretched and placed it in my palm. That is when it went for revenge. With it's little claw it got me in the skin right between the thumb and the for finger. OUCH!! they pinch good. I did not want to pull its little claw off so I tried to give it a little tug. It held on like a pitbull with a T-bone. So I ran into the kitchen and held it under the water like I thought that it would loose its breath and let go! They are water creatures. By this time my hand was really hurting I could not believe it. So I said to my sister please pull the claw open and get it off!! " oh yeah so it can get me with its other claw! I don't think so!" the same sister who swears she would help me bury bodies ( that is a figure of speech we have no need to bury bodies) will not help me with a little crawfish. So I painstakingly had to slowly pry it off. Then I promptly threw it in the front yard.
Stupid crawfish.. silly me.

And the winner is............................

The doughnut. Yes the doughnut won and taught me a lesson on arrogance and humility. I was weighed in today and gained 2.4 pounds. After loosing the 2.8 pounds last week it seems that I must have decided that I could conquer the effect of the doughnut. So as I stood on the scale looking at my weight gain my nemesis, the doughnut, laughed and stretched out on my thigh! Now the doughnut did not do this on it's own. But after eating the sweet confection my body craved more and I arrogantly thought that I could win this battle just by sheer will. I did not walk harder or swim the day after the doughnut incident no... I ate more sweet things thinking I could somehow just get away without any weight gain simply by paying my weight watcher dues. Silly me. Yes this journey is going to be tough and many doughnuts and other sweet confections will do their best to thwart my success at becoming more healthy but in the end I will win. I will pray for strength and strength will be given to me and I will defeat the doughnut. I am anxious to start the next leg of my journey.
Stupid doughnut.

The Doughnut

Well here we are on a Sunday night. I just ate a doughnut. Yep. I did. Now I suppose I could fall into the cessapool of self loathing and hate myself because I succumbed to the temptation of the doughnut. Or I could just say to myself " gee that was a good doughnut and it was only one doughnut not the whole half dozen and tomorrow I will do better." I think I will go with the later. I have a tendancy to be way to hard on myself so I am going to try to give myself a break for being a human being. The perfectionism that I suffer from is only when it comes to my own personal self. I don't expect anyone else to be perfect just me. That has put me under alot of self inflicted stress and it takes my energy away from the things that God wants me to do. It makes me question myself too much. So I am going to give myself a break now and again. Okay I ate the stupid doughnut. I ate one plain cake doughnut. I will walk hard tomorrow and maybe swim in the morning. But that was a really good doughnut. Whatever our addictions are we all suffer from them. I have been totally and completely delivered by the power of God from my addiction to nicotine. And I witnessed my brother totally delivered from nicotine and marijuana. Deliverance is such an awesome thing. To feel that awesome power of God working in your life. Nothing can take that feeling away from you. God is so faithful to answer our prayers. I will pray for deliverance from my addiction to sweet carbs. I would like to be able to just enjoy them without being consumed by them. Today was a good day. And I am excited about what adventures tomorrow will bring..
And that was a really good doughnut!!!! :)

Weighed in again

I lost 2.8 pounds this week for a grand total of 10 pounds. I am so excited!!! Getting ready for Bible study I will blog more later so much is going on!!!

Blessed Again

My nana went to church on Saturday night with me! This was an answered prayer! God is faithful. I have met so many wonderful people through the bread ministry. The need is so large in our community. I wish there was more that we could do. We have young people, old people, all different kind of people who come in needing help. We must band together to get through this hard time. We have to or we will all fall apart.

God is Faithful and True

Today was a very blessed day. It started out very early as I went to get bread for the Saturday give away at the church. We were so blessed. There was a great abundance and we still have saturday mornings pick up to look forward to! I spent the day with my daughter and my granddaughter and anyone who knows me and the distance we have had between us for the last year knows that only God in his grace and glory could have made that happen. Then to top off the day like a cherry on a hot fudge sunday... my daughter had bible study with us tonight!! Praise God for all his good and glory!!! He has answered my prayer again. I am so in love with my Savior! I cannot praise him enough. Thank you my sweet Lord my life is yours to use as you will. Where you lead I will go whatever you ask I will do. Thank you!!

Weigh in Today

Okay so I had a weigh in today. I lost 1 pound. I suppose I should be happy and I am but there is a part of me that is just a little disappointed. I wanted to loose more. But looking back on my week I should have expected to gain. I went to the Boston Lobster Feast while in Orlando with the kids and just to start with I ate 3 lobsters!! Who does that? ME!!! Then of course it was all you can eat and I just had to have my fair share!! This whole weight thing really bothers me. There are alot of things about it that just grate my nerves. Okay I am on more than one medication for blood pressure so I need to loose weight for health reasons if for nothing else. But other things about this weight issue really bug me. I like to watch The Biggest Looser and I enjoy seeing the people reach their goals and feel better about themselves but I do not like to hear the way they feel about themselves. One season they were working with engaged couples and this beautiful bride to be weighed in at 237. When they are interviewing her she made a remark about not being able to get married at that weight!! WHAT!! Okay she was overweight but she was absolutely beautiful!! What would make her think that she would not be a beautiful bride? Why is it that our self worth is so connected to our weight. Why do we feel less than just because we are overweight? I know fat people and thin people and I don't find my thin friends to be any better than my fat friends. We all have special unique gifts to offer. If I could give the world one thing I would give everyone the ability to love themselves where they are and how they are. If there are things you want to change go for it ... loose that weight, dye your hair, get that boob job.. whatever.. just don't do it because you think that those changes will make you a more loveable person. I pray that God gives everyone the eyes to see themselves as he see's them. You were beautifully created by a God who loves you with all his heart he gave his life for you you owe it to him to love yourself. Surround yourself with people who lift you up not put you down. And don't fall into the trap of putting yourself down. I will continue to try to loose weight because I need to be healthy in order to go on with the work that I know God wants me to do not because if I don't I will feel less than anybody!! It is important to keep the temple healthy and your body is the temple of God. But it is not necessary to feel like you are

Something New

I joined weight watchers and lost 6.2 pounds the first week. I will get weighed again tomorrow. My life has been so busy for someone who does not have a job. I have started teaching spanish at my church. My children moved back from Colorado and God is doing great things. He is so amazing and he blesses me. He does not usually bless me with material things but with things that will last throughout eternity and I am greatful.

It is Monday

Well here we are again on Monday. Nothing happened today except for weeding the garden. I wish I had something really good to write about.

While enjoying a nature walk at the Myakkahatchee I came across these beautiful creatures.

The Beginning

I love to take pictures of nature. This is one of the photo's I took when I went to Naples with my friend Marilyn. You never know how life is going to turn out Marilyn has been my friend for 15 years and today we found out that she has a blockage to her heart. Tomorrow she and her husband will go to another doctor for another scan to find out what is going on and how they can fix it. Sometimes we take our health for granted. We figure nothing will happen to us it happens to other people not us. So we sail through life full speed ahead not paying attention to what is going on inside of us. We hear that certain foods are not good for us but we dont pay attention " you gotta die from something" has always been one of my quotes. Then one day BAM you are hit with the vision of your own mortality. Then we try to backtrack and eat fruit and veggies with salmon and chicken. But the damage is done. Sure maybe changing things can give us a few more years. I know even though this is not happening to me but to my friend I have to look at my lifestyle. I have to change my ways. I am overwieght. My grandaughter is only 10 and I want to see her graduate. I want to watch her grow into a strong woman. I have fought this beast called obesity for most of my adult life. I am not lazy or gluttonus yet my ass continues to grow. My sister can eat twice as much as I can and has never been over a size 6. Yeah I take pictures of beautiful things all the time yet when I see a pic of myself I cringe. Everyone says you are not obese. But yes I am. I am a firm believer that God creates his children in all different sizes and shapes and he loves us all. But he also says that his Holy Spirit lives within us and our bodies are his temple. So we need to have healthy temples. Which means healthy bodies. I don't claim to know everything these are just my thoughts. The foremost thought on my mind is my weight.. everyday... everytime I put something into my mouth.. Everytime I meet someone new... I would just like to be able to think about something else. And Marylyn is overwieght too. So I just gotta figure this out...